Saturday, January 7, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
day 5 - oh, hello again.
in spring 2008, i created a week-long residency for myself at a friends cabin in oregon. no internet, no tv/movies, no phone. the intention was to create music for a show i was working on at the time (bridging wounds: staying the course of uncertainty). it's really not quite right to call this place a "cabin" - it's fancier then any place i've ever lived. i was in no means, "roughing it."
i spent at least 50% of every day absolutely PARALYZED with fear. not fear of being alone - i'm very comfortable there - not fear of being in the woods, in a new place, without distraction, or fear of making (or so i thought), but real fear - fear for my life fear. fear of every sound i heard that i didn't make. fear of a mask on the wall. fear of certain rooms - their doors had to stay closed. it would start in that transitional time when day is leaving and night is rising. i could see it, but i couldn't. a shadow. a darkness. following me, but never quite meeting me face to face.
at the time, i attributed that experience to being something in that place and 'moved on.'
in september 2010, i started working (by myself) in studio current - a place for body-based artists to create and be and rehearse their own projects, and be part of a community that meets and shares and discusses together. i was working to release my body to movement after 5 years of dormancy followed by 5 years of trying to find my way back to it. when i look back in my notebooks, i kept using the word 'EXTRACTION.' and my movements were representative of that process too - pulling strings out of my chest, grabbing chunks of skin and offering them from my center out into the room...
there were a few times when i found that shadowy presence lurking. i didn't relate it to what i had felt in 2008. it was brief. i'm never in the space for more then 4hrs at a time.
i have since danced with this presence - in duet. and it has even been acknowledged by a collaborator...i hadn't told her anything about these experiences, and one day after i moved while she made music, she called it out in her own words - that i was dancing, in duet, with this darkness....
now, being in PROJECT: space available, i am realizing this is all the same thing - this shadow, this darkness - in my dreams, and externalized in waking life when i am in this certain creative state, facing myself - it's me. or it's a part of me. it's coming from me...
so, instead of being paralyzed with fear, i've decided to call it out. acknowledge it. speak to it. write to it. stand ready and willing to face it. dance with it.
shadow: i see you. i feel you.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
day 3 - night session
now i really have no idea what day or time it is...
i stayed up working until 6am and then slept a few hours in the space.
i was just moving intuitively (hadn't planned to work all night and was only flirting with the idea of sleeping here), but in retrospect, it was EXACTLY what needed to happen.
spending time with the space without light and in a dream state dissipated my fears.
lovely.
now, i dig in.
ready.
excited.
here.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Monday, January 2, 2012
fear and time are funny things
this space is scary at night!!!! especially when going to the bathroom (which is in the hall just outside of the space itself), or leaving the building entirely. earlier, i held my pee for about an hour while psyching myself up to make it out the door.
what is that?? unknown, yes. in a busy area, yes. but it feels like more...
i'll just say this - the sage and candles and sweet grass have been burning...
and how is it that i can feel time so distinctly in a day and night sort of way in a space that has no windows...?? intriguing. so very interesting.
just noticing...
outside of my funny fear, THE SPACE IS AMAZING. i started the morning with a lovely dance class, then packed up a preliminary round of artifacts, tools, instruments, supplies, and spent the rest of the day/eve doing a bit of moving in.
i've heard it has been a crazy stormy day... (perhaps it still is?)
what is that?? unknown, yes. in a busy area, yes. but it feels like more...
i'll just say this - the sage and candles and sweet grass have been burning...
and how is it that i can feel time so distinctly in a day and night sort of way in a space that has no windows...?? intriguing. so very interesting.
just noticing...
outside of my funny fear, THE SPACE IS AMAZING. i started the morning with a lovely dance class, then packed up a preliminary round of artifacts, tools, instruments, supplies, and spent the rest of the day/eve doing a bit of moving in.
i've heard it has been a crazy stormy day... (perhaps it still is?)
Sunday, January 1, 2012
an entering...
new, yet familiar. always as someone else's. empty. full of possibilities. uncomfortable. cold. exciting. intimidating. i feel afraid to touch it...the advantage? of witnessing and participating in other's processes.
how to claim? root down - but not too far, without too much hold. free reign and ownership with impermanence. remember to breathe.
(i keep forgetting to breathe)
people in transition.
spaces in transition.
measurements of time in transition.
endings and beginnings and the space in between...
i can do this.
i am ready.
i can do this.
i am ready.
i can do this.
i am ready.
i can do this.
i am ready.
i, adult paris, grant you, kid paris, the permission to be and grow. it is safe. you can come out. you can be cultivated. i am strong enough. i can protect you now.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
i didn't kill her!!!
i didn't kill kid paris! i hid her (like in a closet somewhere...). to protect her.
she needs permission to come out. she needs to know its safe. i just have to give her permission...
(and the process continues...)
!!!
she needs permission to come out. she needs to know its safe. i just have to give her permission...
(and the process continues...)
!!!
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
(re)found: my stats
do i feel shame around this?
yes.
do i want to?
no.
step one: acknowledge her existence.
(re)found: ruby slippers
my great aunt's shoes - altered by my mother with spray paint and sequins.
ruby slippers.
as in dorothy's shoes.
as in the wizard of oz.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
these grooves are deep: the installation
an exploration and physical mapping of well-worn pathways in the brain. traveled through a meditative labyrinth walk, the map investigates the points of intersection and physical/emotional/mental effects of past on present, mind on body, body on mind.
a single string, over 1.5 miles long.
25 9" gutter nails.
25 sentiments/states/feelings/qualities/internal realities/relationships...
day 7 of the residency:
testing. to see what sort of stakes were needed.
day 8:
hammer in the points.
day 9:
walk. light. show.
i moved intuitively through the map, starting at OPEN. for the first hour or so, i focused on deep connections - well worn pathways - traveling between 2 points many times before refocusing on another connection. as the afternoon progressed, i tried to move through the map in broader strokes, connecting each point to a new point. i didn't have a determined point of end - the length of the string and how i intuitively traveled would dictate. i ended on (self) LIBERATED.
i should mention that the map was constructed in my parent's back yard.
this is not a house i have ever lived in.
i invited a small handful of people from my past to an open house that evening. these were relationships of all sorts - the lifelong close yet distant, the best friend, the former musical partner, the middle school bully...
the open house took place in the dark. i lit 100 tea candles and placed them throughout the map, inviting those who came to walk through at their leisure. i walked through too - answering questions, listening to individual commentaries.
at the end of the night there were 3 candles still lit - 2 at places intended to light string, 1 at the point: FEAR.
a single string, over 1.5 miles long.
25 9" gutter nails.
25 sentiments/states/feelings/qualities/internal realities/relationships...
day 7 of the residency:
testing. to see what sort of stakes were needed.
day 8:
hammer in the points.
day 9:
walk. light. show.
i moved intuitively through the map, starting at OPEN. for the first hour or so, i focused on deep connections - well worn pathways - traveling between 2 points many times before refocusing on another connection. as the afternoon progressed, i tried to move through the map in broader strokes, connecting each point to a new point. i didn't have a determined point of end - the length of the string and how i intuitively traveled would dictate. i ended on (self) LIBERATED.
i should mention that the map was constructed in my parent's back yard.
this is not a house i have ever lived in.
i invited a small handful of people from my past to an open house that evening. these were relationships of all sorts - the lifelong close yet distant, the best friend, the former musical partner, the middle school bully...
the open house took place in the dark. i lit 100 tea candles and placed them throughout the map, inviting those who came to walk through at their leisure. i walked through too - answering questions, listening to individual commentaries.
at the end of the night there were 3 candles still lit - 2 at places intended to light string, 1 at the point: FEAR.
these grooves are deep: the residency
i have just returned from a 10-day residency in my hometown - tucson, az - spent excavating artifacts and relationships of my past.
i knew i had done a lot as a child - but the memories i have been letting myself access over the last 10 years barely reflected a mere sliver of that reality. i had blocked tucson paris out almost entirely. i had blocked child paris out almost entirely.
i rescued her just in time...
boxes upon boxes of photos, dance costumes, print ads i modeled for, hand bills of shows i acted in, cassette tapes of me singing and playing violin - practicing, performing...
i went to the dentist.
i got an eye exam.
i went to the mall because it was what my brother deeply wanted to do.
i had "christmas" with my family for the first time in 7 years.
i cried.
i counseled.
i listened.
i reminisced.
i played. (not like "playing" the violin - like "played" as in "playing" - you know, having fun, being childlike.)
i studied. myself, my past, my family, my former environment...
i also spent a lot of time interviewing my mother - about herself, about her past, about our extended family (who i am pretty disconnected from), about me and my past...
the residency culminated in an installation created (and left) in my parent's back yard - a mind map traveled - through creation - as a meditative labyrinth walk, shared by candlelight with figures of my past.
artifacts gathered and all discovered/uncovered/integrated will inform a subsequent performative installation, IDENTITY/PERSONA: symbols of the self (?), which will be developed and presented in a residency at PROJECT: space available in january/february 2012.
i knew i had done a lot as a child - but the memories i have been letting myself access over the last 10 years barely reflected a mere sliver of that reality. i had blocked tucson paris out almost entirely. i had blocked child paris out almost entirely.
i rescued her just in time...
boxes upon boxes of photos, dance costumes, print ads i modeled for, hand bills of shows i acted in, cassette tapes of me singing and playing violin - practicing, performing...
i went to the dentist.
i got an eye exam.
i went to the mall because it was what my brother deeply wanted to do.
i had "christmas" with my family for the first time in 7 years.
i cried.
i counseled.
i listened.
i reminisced.
i played. (not like "playing" the violin - like "played" as in "playing" - you know, having fun, being childlike.)
i studied. myself, my past, my family, my former environment...
i also spent a lot of time interviewing my mother - about herself, about her past, about our extended family (who i am pretty disconnected from), about me and my past...
the residency culminated in an installation created (and left) in my parent's back yard - a mind map traveled - through creation - as a meditative labyrinth walk, shared by candlelight with figures of my past.
artifacts gathered and all discovered/uncovered/integrated will inform a subsequent performative installation, IDENTITY/PERSONA: symbols of the self (?), which will be developed and presented in a residency at PROJECT: space available in january/february 2012.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Friday, December 2, 2011
theese grooves are deep
i am currently in tucson, arizona - where i spent the first 17 years of my life. this time, i have come back not only to see family and the small handful of friends i'm still in contact with, but to embark on an excavation of my past, my former self. there's seattle paris, and then there's tucson paris. they've never quite found a way to co-exist. seattle paris really hasn't liked tucson paris...she's been embarrassed and ashamed of her. deeply, actually. seattle paris resents tucson paris for growing up with a tv as her closest companion. seattle paris is embarrassed by tucson paris' years spent training in the art of regurgitation and 'perfection' vs. cultivating creativity and self generated creation. seattle paris ran away from tucson paris, nearly blocking out her entire existence in the process. it's time to re-find her. face her. accept her. love her.
THESE GROOVES ARE DEEP: an exploration and physical mapping of well-worn pathways in the brain of sound/physical artist, paris hurley. traveled through a meditative labyrinth walk, the map will investigate the points of intersection and physical/emotional/mental effects of past on present, mind on body, body on mind. december 1-10, 2011.
THESE GROOVES ARE DEEP: an exploration and physical mapping of well-worn pathways in the brain of sound/physical artist, paris hurley. traveled through a meditative labyrinth walk, the map will investigate the points of intersection and physical/emotional/mental effects of past on present, mind on body, body on mind. december 1-10, 2011.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
there is no substitute for time with chad
a few nights ago i had the great fortune of experiencing a work in progress showing of faye driscoll's latest piece: NOT...NOT. exploring definition(s) of beauty, investigating transformation through performance and the "slippage of the self"...all exquisitely communicated, so very satiating and right 'up my alley' - yet, the most powerful gift i took away from this experience was the reminder of the importance of time spent in the practice of your process...
i was so taken by faye and her counterpart, jesse zaritt's abilities to execute incredibly detailed, hyper-choreographed movements, expressions, sentiments, emotions...with striking precision while maintaining a feeling of real, unrehearsed, improvised. at one point during the piece, they faced each other wearing identical wigs and proceed to mirror each movement, expression, sentiment, even sound, as if one.
during the feedback / discussion part of the evening, someone asked faye about her relationship to these objects (referring to the pile of food, scarves, glasses, wigs, clothing, hats, and other miscellaneous items that had been utilized in various ways during the performance). she started by picking up one of the wigs from the mirrored duo saying, "well, there's chad...sometimes we spend a lot of time in chad...we can spend an hour in chad...sometimes it gets pretty weird!"
(she is incredibly charming on top of it all...)
this got me thinking about where i am in my process as a creator - as a generative artist - and especially where movement and non-violin dominant things are concerned...
i'll maybe brush up against chad - if i'm lucky - and then it starts to feel reaallly difficult. i look for distraction - maybe monica's next door, i should call my mom - that's part of this whole process of digging up the past, that's work...i eat a snack...i feel lost and like i just can't do it, like i don't know what i'm doing and have no business being in this space, with these opportunities...and then i feel so frustrated with myself because i know i have this thing trying to claw its way out.
it's in there. and it's massive. lifelong.
but it's in another language - one i don't quite speak.
i've felt completely daunted by the weight of deciphering because i've been missing what's right in front of my face. i've been looking for a shortcut...
there is no substitute for time with chad.
you can't wish or distract or skip your way around it.
there is no shortcut.
you just have to do the work.
you have to spend time with chad. in chad.
...lots of time.
PATIENCE.
face chad. face him head on. hang out with him. get to know him. swim around with him. do it more. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again...
yesterday's studio time looked very different then previous studio times of late. at the height of my panic / self-depricating slump, i decided to spend some time with chad...i set up some chairs and lights and my crappy android phone camera, placed a few cassette players around the space each playing a tape of a drone-y violin chord (which becomes this crazy delightful microtonal buzz once played out of the different old machines, each spinning at their own rate) and improvised around a simple score multiple times. over and over. back to back. without judgement. without reviewing in the moment.
it's raw. it's imperfect. it's many things...but it's real. it is where i am in the process. my process. and how great is that, really!? it just is. and it's certainly nothing to be so debilitatingly afraid and ashamed of. the real, raw, icky, beautiful process...
i was so taken by faye and her counterpart, jesse zaritt's abilities to execute incredibly detailed, hyper-choreographed movements, expressions, sentiments, emotions...with striking precision while maintaining a feeling of real, unrehearsed, improvised. at one point during the piece, they faced each other wearing identical wigs and proceed to mirror each movement, expression, sentiment, even sound, as if one.
during the feedback / discussion part of the evening, someone asked faye about her relationship to these objects (referring to the pile of food, scarves, glasses, wigs, clothing, hats, and other miscellaneous items that had been utilized in various ways during the performance). she started by picking up one of the wigs from the mirrored duo saying, "well, there's chad...sometimes we spend a lot of time in chad...we can spend an hour in chad...sometimes it gets pretty weird!"
(she is incredibly charming on top of it all...)
this got me thinking about where i am in my process as a creator - as a generative artist - and especially where movement and non-violin dominant things are concerned...
i'll maybe brush up against chad - if i'm lucky - and then it starts to feel reaallly difficult. i look for distraction - maybe monica's next door, i should call my mom - that's part of this whole process of digging up the past, that's work...i eat a snack...i feel lost and like i just can't do it, like i don't know what i'm doing and have no business being in this space, with these opportunities...and then i feel so frustrated with myself because i know i have this thing trying to claw its way out.
it's in there. and it's massive. lifelong.
but it's in another language - one i don't quite speak.
i've felt completely daunted by the weight of deciphering because i've been missing what's right in front of my face. i've been looking for a shortcut...
there is no substitute for time with chad.
you can't wish or distract or skip your way around it.
there is no shortcut.
you just have to do the work.
you have to spend time with chad. in chad.
...lots of time.
PATIENCE.
face chad. face him head on. hang out with him. get to know him. swim around with him. do it more. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again...
yesterday's studio time looked very different then previous studio times of late. at the height of my panic / self-depricating slump, i decided to spend some time with chad...i set up some chairs and lights and my crappy android phone camera, placed a few cassette players around the space each playing a tape of a drone-y violin chord (which becomes this crazy delightful microtonal buzz once played out of the different old machines, each spinning at their own rate) and improvised around a simple score multiple times. over and over. back to back. without judgement. without reviewing in the moment.
it's raw. it's imperfect. it's many things...but it's real. it is where i am in the process. my process. and how great is that, really!? it just is. and it's certainly nothing to be so debilitatingly afraid and ashamed of. the real, raw, icky, beautiful process...
Monday, November 14, 2011
(dear self:) THERE IS NO SHORTCUT
YOU JUST HAVE TO DO THE WORK.
there is no shortcut around time spent in the practice of being in your process.
time and action - that is the formula.
have patience with yourself.
recognize that being in your process - where you are in your process at any given moment - IS everything.
it's a lifelong journey. be grateful for it.
what if there actually was this end point destination??
and you reached it...
those people you admire for really embodying something, for being masterful, for so clearly communicating through sound, movement, text, voice...they are where they are because of time spent in the practice of being in their process - and they're all searching and reaching for the next layer too...
there is no destination.
there is no shortcut.
you just have to do the work...
there is no shortcut around time spent in the practice of being in your process.
time and action - that is the formula.
have patience with yourself.
recognize that being in your process - where you are in your process at any given moment - IS everything.
it's a lifelong journey. be grateful for it.
what if there actually was this end point destination??
and you reached it...
those people you admire for really embodying something, for being masterful, for so clearly communicating through sound, movement, text, voice...they are where they are because of time spent in the practice of being in their process - and they're all searching and reaching for the next layer too...
there is no destination.
there is no shortcut.
you just have to do the work...
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
keep the channel open.
“there is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. the world will not have it.
it is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. it is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. you do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. you have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. keep the channel open."
- martha graham
(via the ever-inspiring: lasara jarvis)
it is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. it is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. you do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. you have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. keep the channel open."
- martha graham
(via the ever-inspiring: lasara jarvis)
BRIDGING WOUNDS: transforming. PUBLICLY.
a new series of body-based performative installations by sound/physical artist, paris hurley, exploring an excavation of personal wounds and the deep dichotomy of wanting to hide yet needing to be seen.
(i think.)
(i think.)
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
these things started long ago
oh. right. why exactly am i only recently realizing i have ideas and a voice...?---
photo by day chan
flier by beth fleenor / the frank agency
spring, 2006
WHAT AM I DOING?!??
i am developing a series of body-based performative installations centered around an excavation of personal wounds.
(i'll show you mine, so maybe you'll show you yours...)
---
what am i doing? installed january 11, 2011
an answer to that question found in a workbook entry from september 20, 2011
the process...ever elusive and requiring of more patience then you thought possible...
experiments. evolutions on a theme.
nothing is singular.find beauty and companionship in the symbiosis - be grateful for it.
it is the greatest truth.
IDENTITY / PERSONA: symbols of the self (?)
so much of my (perceived) identity feels wrapped up in external symbols - the hair cut/color i spent years developing, the cowboy boots that rarely left my feet, my violin (that violin), being a violinist...
what happens when you let go? what's left? who's left?
currently, i sit in a body-based studio space whose mission is to foster inquiry, experimentation, and process. no violin. different shoes. new hair.
it feels monumental.
how can these symbols hold so much and yet mean nothing at all?
the tricks of the mind...
the tricks of the ego...
it feels very fragile - like a fawn taking its first awkward steps - and like it is so obviously exuding from every pore, i might as well be wearing a huge neon sign and yelling through a megaphone. transforming. publicly. elements of this are very uncomfortable and unsettling. yet, it somehow feels like a symbol of strength - a new level of willingness to be vulnerable born out of a new sense of self. true self.
...lesson after lesson in what great strength comes through vulnerability...
what happens when you let go? what's left? who's left?
currently, i sit in a body-based studio space whose mission is to foster inquiry, experimentation, and process. no violin. different shoes. new hair.
it feels monumental.
how can these symbols hold so much and yet mean nothing at all?
the tricks of the mind...
the tricks of the ego...
it feels very fragile - like a fawn taking its first awkward steps - and like it is so obviously exuding from every pore, i might as well be wearing a huge neon sign and yelling through a megaphone. transforming. publicly. elements of this are very uncomfortable and unsettling. yet, it somehow feels like a symbol of strength - a new level of willingness to be vulnerable born out of a new sense of self. true self.
...lesson after lesson in what great strength comes through vulnerability...
october 16
now i don't know how to interface.
i'm finally present -
transformed -
indescribably grateful...
how do i interface with my life in seattle after such magic?
a life i've spent the last 2 tours lusting after...
it's all me.
it's all my life.
there is no separation unless i make one.
he is changed too.
now that i don't 'need' to be home, i'm going home.
funny, and yet perfect.
i'm finally present -
transformed -
indescribably grateful...
how do i interface with my life in seattle after such magic?
a life i've spent the last 2 tours lusting after...
it's all me.
it's all my life.
there is no separation unless i make one.
he is changed too.
now that i don't 'need' to be home, i'm going home.
funny, and yet perfect.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
a message to the self (a message to others)
the practice of being an open channel is just that - a practice.
honor that practice.
it takes great discipline, focus, presence, strength, and the willingness to be ever vulnerable.
honor that practice.
it takes great discipline, focus, presence, strength, and the willingness to be ever vulnerable.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Do you work with images? If yes, how, if no, what is your relationship to images?
I often think in images. Performative images. Some still, some in motion – often repetitive motion, an oscillation. Like single frames of a film – stuck in a loop, frozen, moving backwards, repeating, sewn together. As I work, I am very aware of constructing what image the audience will see throughout the entirety of the process – very aware of constructing the frame, as well.
The power of perspective...
The power of perception...
I am inspired by photographs. I am inspired by film. I am inspired by images I see in my daily existence: a shoe under a table, a hand lovingly placed on a leg, looks of confusion, silhouette, the way light transforms a corner of the room...
I generate in images, gathering them one at a time.
In development, I string them together.
As I think about how I work, where my interests are drawn, and search for the core of why and how I use images, I’m quickly led to my anthropological thoughts and inclinations...(obsessions...?)
Humans are deeply affected by images. They infiltrate our beliefs about ourselves, our dreams. They nestle deep into our psyche and tuck themselves away, affecting future thoughts and decisions, often even without the awareness of our conscious mind. Humans’ relationship to image is extremely powerful... I believe that many of the difficulties we face as humans in the 21st century come from the images we propagate and are surrounded (bombarded) by. It is innately human to want to belong – to a family, a community...we are like wolves. And because we all want this so deeply (and often desperately), corporations and consumerism have successfully taken over, feeding on this fear. We are fed images and ideas of what it means to belong, of what you need to look and be like (of what you need to not look and not be like) in order to be good, beautiful, unique, interesting, cool, accepted, loved...
It’s an epidemic.
One I am deeply, personally affected by...
I want to infiltrate with some other images. Other images of what it means to be a woman, what it means to work, what it means to be beautiful, powerful, strong, brave, honest, fulfilled...
People don’t know how to deal with themselves. We fear being alone. We fear ourselves. We fear each other. And I believe connectivity is the in-road to that process of looking inward, making changes, and learning to love yourself (vs. looking to external people, places, and things to provide a false and temporary place holder for that). We feel so alone so much of the time because what we are shown to be ‘the human experience’ is a false, constructed facade that doesn’t actually exist. We are in a constant state of telling ourselves: We’re not enough. You’re not enough.
(I’m not enough...)
We are voyeurs. We want to look in on other people’s experiences and we want them to resemble our own - external reassurance that we’re ‘normal,’ we’re okay, we’re enough. This is particularly evident in our growing cultural obsession with ‘reality’ tv – a medium that has become more false (and therefore more detrimental to our collective psyche) then fiction. We want connections. We want community. But this desire has only allowed the same business practices to take hold, feed on our fear, and manipulate, further reinforcing these false ideas of what and how and who ‘real’ people are.
People take great relief in genuinely connecting to another person through a shared experience, sentiment, feeling, image... What if people didn’t have to alienate and torture others as a defense mechanism, a deflection of their own insecurities and feelings of not belonging? What if people felt the greatest sense of belonging when they were most themselves?
Perhaps if we were surrounded by other images, images that support the true cultivation of an individual – a unique individual – we could start to shift this mentality, shift these definitions.
I want to infiltrate.
I want to connect people to each other through highlighting the shared aspects of the real human experience.
I want to present some other images.
I want to magnify, highlight, extract, and trigger the real, the raw.
I want to invoke social change, healing, and unity through creativity and an acknowledgement of the aspects of humanity that are truly shared.
The power of perspective...
The power of perception...
I am inspired by photographs. I am inspired by film. I am inspired by images I see in my daily existence: a shoe under a table, a hand lovingly placed on a leg, looks of confusion, silhouette, the way light transforms a corner of the room...
I generate in images, gathering them one at a time.
In development, I string them together.
As I think about how I work, where my interests are drawn, and search for the core of why and how I use images, I’m quickly led to my anthropological thoughts and inclinations...(obsessions...?)
Humans are deeply affected by images. They infiltrate our beliefs about ourselves, our dreams. They nestle deep into our psyche and tuck themselves away, affecting future thoughts and decisions, often even without the awareness of our conscious mind. Humans’ relationship to image is extremely powerful... I believe that many of the difficulties we face as humans in the 21st century come from the images we propagate and are surrounded (bombarded) by. It is innately human to want to belong – to a family, a community...we are like wolves. And because we all want this so deeply (and often desperately), corporations and consumerism have successfully taken over, feeding on this fear. We are fed images and ideas of what it means to belong, of what you need to look and be like (of what you need to not look and not be like) in order to be good, beautiful, unique, interesting, cool, accepted, loved...
It’s an epidemic.
One I am deeply, personally affected by...
I want to infiltrate with some other images. Other images of what it means to be a woman, what it means to work, what it means to be beautiful, powerful, strong, brave, honest, fulfilled...
People don’t know how to deal with themselves. We fear being alone. We fear ourselves. We fear each other. And I believe connectivity is the in-road to that process of looking inward, making changes, and learning to love yourself (vs. looking to external people, places, and things to provide a false and temporary place holder for that). We feel so alone so much of the time because what we are shown to be ‘the human experience’ is a false, constructed facade that doesn’t actually exist. We are in a constant state of telling ourselves: We’re not enough. You’re not enough.
(I’m not enough...)
We are voyeurs. We want to look in on other people’s experiences and we want them to resemble our own - external reassurance that we’re ‘normal,’ we’re okay, we’re enough. This is particularly evident in our growing cultural obsession with ‘reality’ tv – a medium that has become more false (and therefore more detrimental to our collective psyche) then fiction. We want connections. We want community. But this desire has only allowed the same business practices to take hold, feed on our fear, and manipulate, further reinforcing these false ideas of what and how and who ‘real’ people are.
People take great relief in genuinely connecting to another person through a shared experience, sentiment, feeling, image... What if people didn’t have to alienate and torture others as a defense mechanism, a deflection of their own insecurities and feelings of not belonging? What if people felt the greatest sense of belonging when they were most themselves?
Perhaps if we were surrounded by other images, images that support the true cultivation of an individual – a unique individual – we could start to shift this mentality, shift these definitions.
I want to infiltrate.
I want to connect people to each other through highlighting the shared aspects of the real human experience.
I want to present some other images.
I want to magnify, highlight, extract, and trigger the real, the raw.
I want to invoke social change, healing, and unity through creativity and an acknowledgement of the aspects of humanity that are truly shared.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
new mantra in honor of the true self. (she has worth) (and ideas...)
recited each time i 'enter' 'artistic' time:
something small
something tall
all things, all
DO
something small
something tall
all things, all
DO
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