these grooves are deep: the residency

i have just returned from a 10-day residency in my hometown - tucson, az - spent excavating artifacts and relationships of my past.

i knew i had done a lot as a child - but the memories i have been letting myself access over the last 10 years barely reflected a mere sliver of that reality. i had blocked tucson paris out almost entirely. i had blocked child paris out almost entirely.

i rescued her just in time...

boxes upon boxes of photos, dance costumes, print ads i modeled for, hand bills of shows i acted in, cassette tapes of me singing and playing violin - practicing, performing...

i went to the dentist.
i got an eye exam.
i went to the mall because it was what my brother deeply wanted to do.
i had "christmas" with my family for the first time in 7 years.
i cried.
i counseled.
i listened.
i reminisced.
i played. (not like "playing" the violin - like "played" as in "playing" - you know, having fun, being childlike.)
i studied. myself, my past, my family, my former environment...

i also spent a lot of time interviewing my mother - about herself, about her past, about our extended family (who i am pretty disconnected from), about me and my past...

the residency culminated in an installation created (and left) in my parent's back yard - a mind map traveled - through creation - as a meditative labyrinth walk, shared by candlelight with figures of my past.

artifacts gathered and all discovered/uncovered/integrated will inform a subsequent performative installation, IDENTITY/PERSONA: symbols of the self (?), which will be developed and presented in a residency at PROJECT: space available in january/february 2012.